Beau Gordon, a former TV producer and software designer from London, found himself yearning for more than the conventional path of career, marriage, and home ownership.

At 35, he reflects, “I used to have a very traditional life, but I felt a bit lonely. All those things sort of trapped me.” Feeling unfulfilled, Gordon decided to leave his job and ended his marriage before relocating to Northern California, where he stayed with friends who had recently acquired a property that included several houses, a treehouse, and a barn.

“I ended up living in this commune for two years and just loved that way of living,” he shares. “I loved how I felt so much more supported and connected to people. We shared food, looked after each other, and worked on the land together.”

In the last eight months, Gordon, who shares his adventures on Instagram under the handle @gaybritishbear and boasts over 100,000 followers, has actively sought out the ideal commune.

“I visited numerous existing communities,” he explains. “I dream of finding the right village, purchasing it, and filling it with queer individuals.” His search took him to Northern Italy, where he explored various communal living experiments, including a medieval village run by a cooperative and a shared home bought by a group of polyamorous friends south of Bologna.

Torri Superiore: A Community Years in the Making

Gordon discovered the eco-village of Torri Superiore in Liguria, a community established through a cooperative nonprofit organization.

This picturesque village, with homes dating back to the late 13th century, was transformed by a group of young Italian friends who moved there in 1989. At the time, the area had been abandoned for over 50 years and was at risk of collapse.

“Our goal was to save a village that had fallen into disrepair,” explains Lucilla Borio, one of the original founders. “The method for doing so was initially unclear.” After nearly 20 years, the group managed to acquire the entire hamlet, which consists of eight levels and 162 interconnected rooms.

“Though we now enjoy modern comforts, for years we lived without heating, electricity, or running water,” Borio recalls.

Due to Italy’s complex inheritance laws, it was challenging for the group to identify all the property owners. Many had no idea they owned part of a room there. Furthermore, they often found themselves paying more in notary fees than the property’s worth. “We’d purchase an uninhabitable room for, say, €2,000, but would pay €3,000 just to authenticate the deed,” she laments.

Borio also found love in the village, marrying Massimo and having three children. Today, Torri is home to nearly 30 residents and volunteers, with that number rising to 60 during the warmer months due to tourists and workshop participants.

Among those who have chosen to call Torri home is Simon Clissold, a farmer from Sydney, Australia. Clissold first visited the village in 2007, returning three years ago to purchase two flats outside the village. Now, he oversees agricultural efforts, including olive oil production and goat cheese making.

“The best thing here is the nature,” Clissold says, while surrounded by chirping birds. “You’re close to Nice, but it feels remote. It’s a short drive from the airport, yet you have the ocean and mountains right outside your door.” He believes the communal success story lies in the residents’ warmth and hospitality. “It’s very open; many intriguing people come through. Their longevity here speaks volumes about their commitment to community.”

L’Altra Riva: A Polyamorous Retreat

After his time in Torri, Gordon visited L’Altra Riva, a community in the Apennine mountains, which was previously a small hotel and restaurant.

Purchased by Jason Revere, a yoga instructor from New Orleans, alongside his Italian partner and two friends for €100,000 in 2023, L’Altra Riva has since been converted into a polyamorous community and yoga retreat.

“La Riva refers to a triangular peak in the valley,” Revere states. “We represent the other side: politics, culture, sex — interpret it as you wish.” Having lived in Amsterdam for two decades and still owning a yoga school there, Revere sought a “conscious community” similar to Gordon’s vision. “A friend discovered this property while cycling, and the price had dropped significantly, making it affordable for us to buy,” he recalls.

The purchase cost each of the four friends €25,000 in cash, however, this did not include renovation expenses. “We got a good deal, but it involved hard work,” Revere notes.

As with other communities, bureaucracy presented challenges. In their first summer, the owners lived without modern amenities while navigating the bureaucratic landscape to properly register the titles. They are now just one permit away from being classified as a bed and breakfast but will continue to function as a community house. “We encourage various forms of engagement — guests can stay, work with us, or simply enjoy the space as a hotel,” Revere explains.

Last summer, the team hosted their inaugural yoga retreat with 20 participants, and they plan to repeat the experience this year from June 28 to July 14. “We offer morning yoga, brunch, free time, afternoon sessions, and evenings filled with discussions about literature or philosophy,” Revere adds.

As Gordon considers the obstacles he faced with Italy’s bureaucratic system, he mentions the possibility of exploring property in Japan next. “They also have really affordable homes available. Hopefully, with less complicated regulations,” he concludes.